


Millennial Days

by Fandoms1675



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Bisexual Harry Potter, Crack, M/M, Memes, alternative universe, idk what au this is but uh yeah, its v harry being a headass and tom being annoyed fondly, tomarry - Freeform, yeehaw buckle up for some dumb shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-05-18 21:39:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14860778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandoms1675/pseuds/Fandoms1675
Summary: Harry Potter. Wizard, Past Gryffindor, auror, proud bisexual, lover of treacle tart and Tom Riddle, and most importantly... A millenial.Tom Riddle. Wizerd, Past Slytherin, Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, reluctant homosexual, lover of reading, the dark arts, maybe his boyfriend and most unfortunately… also a millennial.Sometimes, dating in this economy is exhausting, Tom complains often.Harry says otherwise.





	1. Avocado Toast

“Hey, Tom,” Harry ruffled his boyfriends head (who laid on the couch), heading towards the kitchen.

Harry Potter. Wizard, Past Gryffindor, auror, proud bisexual, lover of treacle tart and Tom Riddle, and most importantly... A millenial. 

“Hmm,” Tom turned the page of his book, bringing his knees up and sitting up somewhat properly to make room for Harry to sit when he returns.

The toaster button clicked.

Tom Riddle. Wizard, Past Slytherin, Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, reluctant homosexual, lover of reading, the dark arts, maybe his boyfriend and most unfortunately… also a millennial

The toaster popped, black bread springing out.

The terrible smell of burnt toast quickly filled the room. Tom shook his head as he heard the trash bag being ruffled. Assuming Harry tossed the bread out, he prepared himself to read another page since his boyfriend would be making more.

Predictably, the toaster once again clicked. 

A few minutes Harry entered the living room, sitting next to the other with toast on a napkin in hand.

He quickly glancing from his toast to his boyfriend. 

“We’re out of bread...and avocado.” 

Tom hummed, closing his book to place it on their coffee table in front of the couch. He leaned over, indicating he wanted a bite. 

Harry obliged and allowed him the first bite.

“With how much avocado you buy and place on your toast, it’s no wonder why this economy is in shambles.” Tom rolled his eyes fondly.

Harry smiled, taking a bite himself, “Shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i deleted the notes and forgot what i had but here it is a book full of tomarr and sum just tom and harry up to date memes


	2. so sad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cos time period no tomarry sorry more like a one shot

“Phoenix tears…” said Riddle quietly, staring at Harry’s arm. “Of course… healing powers… I forgot…”

He looked into Harry’s face. “But it makes no difference. In fact, I prefer it this way. Just you and me, Harry Potter… you and me…”

He raised the wand…

Then, in a rush of wings, Fawkes had soared back overhead and something fell into Harry’s lap — the diary.

For a split second, both Harry and Riddle, wand still raised, stared at it. Then, without thinking, without considering, as though he had meant to do it all along, Harry seized the basilisk fang on the floor next to him and plunged it straight into the heart of the book.

There was a long, dreadful, piercing scream. Ink spurted out of the diary in torrents, streaming over Harry’s hands, flooding the floor. Riddle was writhing and twisting, screaming and flailing and then —

He had gone. Harry’s wand fell to the floor with a clatter and there was silence. Silence except for the steady drip drip of ink still oozing from the diary. The basilisk venom had burned a sizzling hole right through it. 

Harry picked up the diary warily, from the corner, examining it.

"This is so sad, Alexa play Despacito."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so sad alexa play love4eva by LOONA's yyxy
> 
> also i was debating on whether to make the sorting hat be alexa and say hogwarts school song but the memes r only changing the song and even then ithe song would be kinda iffy so w/e went w the original
> 
> and it wasnt tomarry but this was a funnier option than making a current au or smth


	3. Big

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> is there anything better than dick?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres no smut but kinda ish vulgar talk warning?? not really

Tom sighed dramatically, flopping on the couch, in attempt to get his boyfriend’s attention.

His boyfriend.

That sounded...strange on his tongue but he found himself sighing fondly about how lucky he was to have him.

Harry was his anchor, he pushed Tom to break out of his comfort zone, to be genuinely nicer to others finding he had people who actually liked him, to cook even though he sucks at it and Harry would affirm it was good and Tom would pretend he didn’t notice him spit into his napkin all dinner.

It was nice.

His boyfriend was nice.

Except.

“Wow. This is big dick energy.”

That.

That was a thing Harry has been saying lately.

He glanced over to see what the other, who was at the end of the couch next to his feet, was looking at.

Fucking...Hermione was on TV.

Hermione had big dick energy. 

“I don’t think your friend would appreciate you saying that,” Tom murmered lightly.

“Pfft,” Harry scoffed, “Of course she would! She knows what it means.”

Tom started to overthinking, “Isn’t that a bit sexist? Not saying Hermione has big dick energy but the fact that big dick energy implies having a dick is a powermove, while I agree big dick isn’t bad, why is it that specifically? Why not something that isn’t sex based?” Scoff. “Big dick energy. Or if it must be, why not female? They’re badass. In this essay i propose we use big pu-”

“Oh my god shut up,” Harry moaned, throwing a couch pillow at his head, “You said big dick energy far too many times for my liking.

Tom grinned, “It’s not my fault you have tiny penis energy.”

“I’m never saying ANYTHING about dick energy ever again,” Harry stood, turned off the TV and glared as he left the room.

Well. That worked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boring chapter ik im sorry 
> 
> ok i dont think i really clarified what this whole thing would be?? its whatever is relevant. the avocado toast was just a start that i know EVERYONe (or most) would understand. the day a new meme occurs, i know of it i just dont think many people here would?? so i wait it out to make sure its a proper meme to add a chapter. theyre still wizards.
> 
> Plot: i think i might make it plotty?? Maybe but i would make it a seperate thing, if i want a plot i'd have to think EVERYTHING out and all the things tomarry would be doing would be COMPLETELY what i would want to do. i have very strong opinions on how they would act that migHT be offensive to some (for example i hate trump, they would too. harry would call out how hes against poc and tom would think hes an overall idiot) so if you dont want that kinda of thing (well for one if u support trump gtfo of my fanfics lmao) then it wouldn't be for you
> 
> but i dont even have a plot quite yet so idk message me or comment if u have any memes/things u want !!!
> 
> last thing!!! i will be coming out with a new fanfic completely different, still tomarry, should be cute and fluffy its based on a rather recent movie
> 
> tumblr: knightdewalpurgis  
> twitter: knightwalpurgis  
> instagram: knightofwalpurgis


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